


Truth in Hearts That Perish

by isellys



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, not in that order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 15:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12368544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isellys/pseuds/isellys
Summary: Shiro finds out about Keith's attempt to take down the shield.





	Truth in Hearts That Perish

**Author's Note:**

> This is so ridiculously self-indulgent. Un-betaed, so all mistakes are mine.

There’s a famous picture on Earth, of a soldier holding a girl in his arms and kissing her so hard that they’re both bent a little, leaning with the high from a freshly-won war. This—this is what Shiro thinks of, when he reaches the Castle and Allura gives them time to rest before negotiations with Lotor begin. He goes straight to where the Blades are converging and grabs Keith’s hand, pulling him close.

“Hey,” Keith says as his mask fades, smiling at him. Shiro is very, very happy to be alive. “I’ll catch up with you later, yeah? Gotta debrief and train.”

“Oh.” Shiro lets go of him. “Okay. See you, then.”

“Yep,” he says, and the smile fades as he turns to join the rest of the Blades. Shiro wonders when he started watching Keith walk away from him so much.

It’s fine. They’ll have time after they finish negotiations with Lotor. The Blades will be returning to their base in no less two quintants—after such a big victory, Allura and Kolivan are going to have their hands full with coalition work—and Shiro and Keith can have some dinner, or maybe spar a little, or stargaze.

God, he’s missed Keith so much. He’s lost track of the number of times he’s almost knocked on Keith’s door before he realized that Keith wasn’t there. In battle, too, he constantly catches himself almost relying on Keith to know his calls before he makes them—he stumbles, sometimes, because his strategies still involve his second, and he doesn’t have one anymore.

It’s—fine. If this is what Keith needs, it’s what he needs. His life doesn’t revolve around Shiro, and rightfully so.

He finds Matt in the lounge, sipping on a milkshake and tinkering with something on a screen, so engrossed in it that he doesn’t even notice Shiro walk in.

“Hey, Matt. Good work out there,” Shiro says, and Matt startles visibly.

“A year and a hundred galaxies later and you’re  _still_  sneaking up on me. Seriously, Shiro?” He shifts a little, making space for Shiro to sit beside him. “Thanks, though. You too. Remember when I told you that you were totally cut out to be some sort of action hero? I can’t believe the universe gave me aliens and an actual space war to prove that point. Life is  _amazing_.”

Shiro laughs. “You know, sometimes I still feel like this is all just part of a long fever dream after spending too much time listening to you talk about the Rebel Alliance from Star Wars.”

“Yeah, I’m not rushing to wake up and do laps. This is a good dream. I’m staying in it.” Matt looks around briefly. “Hey, where’s Keith? Not with you?”

“Debriefing with the Blade of Marmora,” Shiro says, sighing. “He’s pretty busy now, I guess. I should’ve seen it coming, but back when he decided to leave, somehow it didn’t really hit me that it would mean we’d get to spend almost no time together at all.”

“Guess there are cons to dating the member of space MI6. But think of the pros, Shiro! I bet he’s really flexi—“

“Matt,  _no_ ,” Shiro says, putting a much firmer hand on his shoulder than necessary. Matt winces.

“Sorry, sorry. Old habits die hard.” The universe never came up with anyone with a bigger shit-eating grin than Matthew Holt. Shiro can confirm this. He’s met  _aliens_. “But seriously, though. I thought you’d be practically hovering over him right now. I mean, after what he was about to do before Lotor swooped in.”

“What he was about to do?” Shiro repeats in askance, and it’s the wrong thing to say, maybe, because Matt’s eyes grow wide, wide, wide.

“He didn’t tell you.” He puts the milkshake down and buries his face in his hands. “Goddamn it, Kogane, what the  _hell_.”

Everything’s fine. Keith had smiled at him earlier; there wasn’t a scratch on him. Keith is  _fine_.

“Matt, what happened?”

Matt's face twists with something that might be pain.

“We couldn’t take down that shield, Shiro. Our weapons just couldn’t do it. Keith was in the lead, in a Galra ship,” he says quietly, avoiding Shiro's eyes. "He was going to crash his ship into that shield to break it."

Shiro’s heart drops. It wrenches into freefall, dropping like lead to the bottom of his stomach. He thinks of a reality where Lotor hadn’t came in at the last second—of saying  _good job, Keith_ , and hearing nothing back, until Matt’s voice would tell him over the comms, and Shiro’s world would shatter. He’d come this close to losing Keith, and he hadn’t known. Keith didn't even get the chance to say a single goodbye to him or the rest of the team.

He must have been so afraid.

“I’ll catch you later,” Shiro says hurriedly, getting up.

“Go talk some sense into him,” Matt calls after him as he leaves the lounge.

Shiro’s legs take him to the training room. He doesn’t register anything, too busy thinking of Keith, in a Galra ship, believing he has to die. He hadn’t held Keith in  _months_. The last time he told Keith he’d loved him was over a video transmission, right before Keith was about to leave on a Blade mission. He could be here right now, in the Castle, with no air in his lungs because he would never see Keith again.

The doors open for him. The Blades are spread out in twos across the room, sparring with each other. He marches straight for the Blade without a tail, who dodges a kick from his opponent and swings back, hitting the other Blade in the stomach. Keith is alive, breathing, moving,  _here_.

“Keith,” he calls out. “We need to talk.  _Now_.”

Keith throws down his opponent and turns to face Shiro, mask fading.

“Shiro the Hero,” he says. “What’s up?”

Any other time, Shiro would have laughed sheepishly.

“Not here. Come on.”

Something must show on his face, because Keith drops the levity and nods quickly, like he’s receiving orders. He frowns as he falls into step beside Shiro, who leads them all the way to his room. He’s not having this talk in the hallway. His hands are shaking, and he hasn’t even said anything yet.

“Takashi,” Keith says, moving in and cupping his cheek. Shiro closes his eyes and leans into the touch. “What’s going on?”

He takes Keith’s hand and holds it between them, bringing it away from his face. He looks him in the eye and hopes that his voice doesn’t shake.

“Matt told me about what you were planning to do to take down that shield.”

Keith’s expression shutters closed immediately. Shiro doesn’t let him go.

“The situation called for it,” Keith says, in a tone of voice that is all Kolivan. “The mission is always more important than anyone carrying it out.”

Shiro drops Keith’s hand, putting his hand on Keith’s shoulder.

“You—the  _mission_  is taking down the Galra Empire. You’re the best fighter pilot Earth had; you have a connection with two lions; you’re an amazing fighter and a great leader—what makes you think that you’d be worth more to the mission dead than alive?”

 _Please_ , he thinks,  _let him understand_.

Keith, instead, glares at him.

“I have to deal with this? From  _you_? Voltron, our greatest weapon, was stuck on a planet that was going to blow. All the rebel forces and the Blade of Marmora were within the blast radius.  _There was no time_. It was me, or our entire coalition. The choice,” he says, his voice rising, little by little, “was  _obvious_. You’re the leader of Voltron, Shiro. This is a war. You’re going to lose soldiers. Sometimes sacrifices are necessary.  _Sir_.”

Shiro takes his hand back like he’d been burned. Keith calling him ‘sir’ had only ever reminded him that Keith always had his back, before. They look at each other silently for a long moment—Keith’s gaze remains fierce and defiant.

How could Shiro forget? No one could resent getting chewed out like Keith could.

“The leader of Voltron, huh.” Shiro sighs. “I guess the leader of Voltron would have to be a hero. And a hero knows that to win a war, sometimes you have to lose people. Sometimes sacrifices are necessary.” He takes a deep breath and clenches his hands into fists. “I’m not a hero, Keith. I’m just... me. You know that better than anyone. And if the sacrifice is you—that’ll never be  _necessary_  to me. So maybe this isn’t about the mission. I'm sorry—I thought that you wouldn’t hear me out if I didn’t make it about the mission. I’m just…”

He sighs again, shaking his head. 

"Look, _I'm_ sorry," Keith says, expression softening as he moves into Shiro’s space, "for making you worry. That's why I didn't tell you; everything worked out in the end anyway. I'm sorry about that too. But I can't promise what you want me to promise. You know that."

Shiro tips his head down a little, pressing their foreheads together, so he can breathe in the scent of Keith’s skin. Now he takes both of Keith’s hands and holds them between them. When he next speaks, it feels like a prayer.

“I get that. Bringing down the Galra Empire is more important than the fact that I love you. But you  _can_ promise me that something like that will only be the last option, ever. Promise that first, you’ll always remember that the universe is better with you in it. There's nothing I can do to protect you when you're with the Blade, so please...”

Keith’s eyes are wide like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing—so beautiful and so, so, blue. Shiro wants to see this color whenever he closes his eyes.

Shiro leans in, and Keith meets him halfway, his hands steady and warm on Shiro’s shoulders. Shiro drinks in the taste of him, pulling him in so that they’re flush against each other. He doesn’t want there to be any space between them ever again.

They separate to breathe, but Keith keeps a hand on the small of Shiro’s back, holding him close; his face remains only an inch away from Shiro’s, if even that much. Shiro sways in his gravity.

“It feels like you're getting farther away from me all the time,” Shiro says, laying his heart out, leaving it bare. “Please. Don’t leave me.”

“Never,” Keith whispers back against his damp cheek.

Shiro loves the way Keith's hair feels against his lips, and the rest of him: his fury, his courage, his honest affection—everything. He’ll wake up tomorrow with Keith warm and safe in his arms. Tomorrow, they’ll have breakfast together, spar together, and stargaze. Keith will tell him everything about what he’s been doing with the Blades, so Shiro can watch him as he speaks, eyes bright, about something that he believes in.

The war goes on; but tomorrow, everything will be fine.

 


End file.
